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Post by Rogue on Aug 2, 2009 21:19:00 GMT 1
i am sure that no one can really help me, but i wan't to say it, anyway...
i have problems with depression and mood swings... i change my moods too quickly... i hate myself... i hate my life... i hate everything... i tried to kill myself 3 times already... sometimes i just wanna cut my veins (even though i know that i won't die from that) just to see how it feels...
also, i feel like nothing i do is good enough... i wanted to be an artist... but i had problems with my mother... she don't wanna let me... so, i finished in best school in serbia... which sucks... i am straight A pupil... i was always perfect for everyone... except for my mother... i did everything i could, everything she wanted me to... but it doesn't make me feel happy... in fact, i've never felt so wrong in my life...
i have brother who is even smarter than i am... and sister... my sister is everything i have never been and never will be... so, i feel like my family doesn't need me...
i wanna die very often... i can't sleep at night... i am falling apart...
just felt like saying this... no need to answer if you feel uncomfortable...
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Post by [Poisoned Candy] on Aug 2, 2009 21:50:12 GMT 1
I know how does it feels that you're not good enough. I'm not good enough for my parents either, they're kicking me out of their family activities and such. Not that I mind, but our next door neighbor became their new daughter. They're treating her like that, at least.
But it's not your fault, really. Maybe your mother is pushing you like that, so you'll actually become something in future life, even though that's not the right way to do it. She knows that you can, that's why she's doing it. She knows how smart you are. Maybe try to talk to her about it one day, tell her how you feel.
You're part of their family, whether they wanted it or not. Unless they start kicking you out, like mine do. xD (again, not that I mind, but if I mention it to my mother, she starts accusing me of being jealous on that little neighbor girl, so it's better for me to keep my mouth shut.)
Just don't attempt committing suicides anymore. If you believe that there's no reason to live, than at least don't do it because you have eternity to be dead. So why hurry? You can never know what life can bring you.
I know that you'll probably won't feel better when I tell you to be strong, considering everything what you went trough in your life. I wish I could give you valuable advice, but there isn't really much I can do. Or say. Unfortunately.
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Post by Sloane on Aug 2, 2009 22:39:31 GMT 1
looks to me like you need to confront your mother about this
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